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I post a new blog article whenever I have a message that I wish to share.   I also post my blogs on LinkedIn if you wish to view them there, click here.

17 January 2020 – For the lonely and friendless – as well.  🙂

One Step at a TimeLast week I started chatting with a lady whilst we were in a waiting room together.  When I mentioned that I am a life-coach she said “That sort of thing is fine for people who don’t have friends or family to confide in.”  I had to laugh.   I hadn’t heard anyone classify my clients as “the lonely and friendless” before.  And, I know that’s simply not true.

Most of my clients have vibrant work and social lives and strong family connections.  They come to life-coaching to gain a fresh perspective from a professional person in relation to a specific issue.  By doing so, clients are able to enjoy closer relationships with their family and friends, with less baggage and fewer issues taking up the precious time they spend together.

The relationship between a life-coach and a client is a professional agreement, where each party has a definite role.  (The first thing I do for any new client is send a detailed contract for them to read and, if they wish to proceed, sign on the dotted line.)

Amongst other things, a client has to agree to be honest about their current situation and goals, and to be receptive to input from me.  I will help you take positive steps towards achieving whatever you want to achieve.

I provide a non-judgemental, listening ear; fresh perspectives; ideas; suggestions; strategies and total confidentiality.

As a life-coach, my activities are governed by the professional organisations of which I am a member:  Association of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (ANLP) and The International Neuro-Linguist Trainers Association (INLPTA).  Each of these organisations have their own Code of Ethics, by which I am bound.

Sharing issues with me means that friends and family – who all have their own stuff going on too- do not need to take on a supporting role for you.

Choosing to receive life-coaching can be the most precious gift you can give yourself and the people in your life.  By ensuring you have the help and support you need, you gain the confidence, wisdom and resilience to be a source of positive energy for others.

P.S.  I am an introvert by nature.  If you are lonely and friendless from time to time (as we all can be) through circumstance or choice, I know that life-coaching can be of benefit to you, because I know how much it helps me. 😊

Life-coaching provides support as you are going through changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the most challenging and yet enjoyable time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you, wherever you are, through Skype or Zoom

1 January 2020 – Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!  May you achieve all you wish for in 2020.3RO 2020 New Years Blog

The start of a new year is traditionally the time for making resolutions.  Usually along the lines of: “This year I will be slimmer/fitter/richer/happier/wiser.”

But how long will your enthusiasm last?  How long did you maintain your dedication to your resolution last year?

Richard J. Wiseman, author and Professor of the Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, published an interesting article in 2007, about the likelihood of success with resolutions, called “The New Year’s Resolution Project”.  I have attached the link to it below.

http://www.richardwiseman.com/quirkology/new/USA/Experiment_resolution.shtml

Most life-coaches will advise that asking yourself the following questions (in some form or other) will help you succeed in setting your resolution:

  1. Why do you want to make the change?
  2. Is your goal concrete and measurable?
  3. What is your plan?
  4. Who can support you as you work toward change?
  5. How will you celebrate each positive step on your journey?

Each of these questions is important, but the first question is crucial because it focuses on motivation.  Are you setting a goal that you sincerely want to achieve? (Excellent!)   Or are you setting a goal that you think you should want to achieve?  (Doomed to fail!)

An achievable resolution, that you truly want to reach, will energise and inspire you from the moment you set your sights on it.  You will fixate on it every day, celebrating the completion of each activity that take you a step closer to reaching your goal.  You will feel smug and successful each time you take another positive action.   You will have worked out every step of your journey in your imagination and know the exact date and time that you can realistically expect to cross the finish line.

So, what do you really want to achieve this year?  Initially, it could be simply to feel completely rested after the festive season.  That’s ok, and would be an excellent start.    You can ensure you enjoy enough sleep and quiet time to recharge your energy, and that will put you in a great position, mentally and physically to choose a new goal, when you feel ready.  That sounds like a fabulous, positive start to the year, doesn’t it!

A resolution doesn’t have to be world-changing.  It only needs to make a difference for you.

You can make any number of resolutions, any time throughout the year.  Consistently taking small steps means that after a week or a month you can surprise yourself by reviewing how much you have achieved.

Sit down with a pad and pen and take five minutes to jot down everything you achieved last year.  I guarantee you will be shocked at how much you achieved, without even appreciating what you were doing.  All those small tasks you undertook each day add up to a huge body of effort by the end of the year.  You will have met people, gained knowledge, learned new skills, made people smile, helped people in hundreds of small and large ways, dealt with challenging events, eaten, slept, loved, laughed, cried and survived.

Well done!

You have already demonstrated that you have the ability to achieve multiple goals, every day.

Enjoy your new year of abundant achievements.  Where they take you, depends on how and where you choose to direct your energy.

Choose wisely.

And you have already begun – see below.   x

√    I enjoyed reading the excellent new year 3RO blog   😊

Life-coaching provides support as you are going through changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the most challenging and yet enjoyable time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

18 December 2019 – 3RO Festive Video

As I reflect on 2019, I notice that initially I focus on the stresses and strains that occurred.  That’s human nature!  However, upon further reflection I realise that there have been many positive changes over this year – not least our house move to the beautiful county of Angus.  I have much to be grateful for.

2019 will have been different for each of us.  Good for some.  Not so good for others.

Whatever stage of life you are at:  child; teenager; adult; senior, life brings it’s own worries and responsibilities.  It also brings it’s own advantages and opportunties

I hope 2020 brings you health and happiness, and the resilience to always find something positive from whatever challenges life brings.

Topping up your energy during the good times, showing kindness to others, making precious memories with sunshine and inspirational people, will help you find the inner strength when you need it.

xx

P.S.  Sorry about the soundtrack, but it’s only 13 seconds.  Tra la.  🙂

Life-coaching can be a huge support through life-changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the best and yet the most challenging time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

20 November 2019 – Maple Cottage

A lot has happened since my last post on 3rd October – over 7 weeks ago!  Hubby and I are now happily nestled in our new home, “Maple Cottage”, in the cathedral city of Brechin, in beautiful Angus.  We haven’t had much time explore yet, but at last everything is unpacked and ten thousand (it seemed) cardboard boxes have gone to recycling – because, apparently, we are now too remote for the removal firm to return and collect them.

All my concerns about being home-sick for our old place have melted away as we have absolutely fallen in love with Maple Cottage.

Maple Cottage - HalThis picture shows a stone cat which we brought with us.  It reminds us of one of our old cats “Hal” (an awesome seal coloured Burmese) who died many, many moons ago.  It is lovely to see him surrounded by the many small, golden maple leaves which have fallen from the gorgeous maple tree in the centre of our small garden.

People in Angus are so friendly, we’ve been bowled over by the lovely welcome we have received.  The weather is amazingly different considering we have moved only just over 100 miles (less than a degree north and just over one-degree east).  The cold is very cold, the rain is very wet and the sunshine is stunningly bright.  The decrease in the population is tangible.  The sky feels bigger, the air feels cleaner.  I wish we had made this change years ago, instead of waiting for the “right time”.

To the east, we are only 10 miles away from the fabulous Lunan Bay Beach and we are just 10 minutes away from Scurdieness Lighthouse and the Montrose Basin.  To the west, the Angus Glens are waiting for us to explore, and to the north there are many mountains and shores to investigate.  These were all contributory factors to our making this move.

Last week I joined a local Burlesque Chair Dance program, which runs in the “Crickety” (an excellent small social venue) nearby.  Joining groups isn’t easy for an introvert like me and I dreaded going along but, once there, I really enjoyed it.  There’s seems to only be 4-6 people in each class here, at the moment, and it is huge fun trying to follow the moves that our wonderfully patient instructor, Brenda, demonstrates.   Here’s a link to show how the current routine we are working on should look.  I am, as ever, a work in progress.  😊

https://www.burlesquechairdance.co.uk/level-1-diet-coke-27/

I can highly recommend BCD as good fun way of stretching and exercising, especially through these cold winter months, where UK outdoor activities call for bulky clothes.  Why not Google to find your local Burlesque Chair Dance instructor?  (Sorry guys, I think this is a ladies only activity at the moment, but with enough demand I’m sure you could change that.)

Yes, moving house was stressful and there were ups and downs along the way, but the end result is more than worth the upheaval.  Bella and Milly (our cats) have taken to the house like ducks to water.  They couldn’t be happier, despite all my reservations about how they might be negatively affected by the disruption.

For us this move was part of our retirement plan, and we are finding that our “retirement” continues to change and develop – but that’s life. Flexibility in thought and action enables us to maintain control of a fluid situation, rather than feeling at the mercy of circumstances.

So, what are you delaying and dithering about that you could be doing now?

If you would like to receive coaching via Skype, Zoom or phone about making a change, I’d be happy to help and, as always, I can be contacted via the 3RO Ltd website, or click here to be taken to my contact page.

Thanks for reading this article through to the end.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoy sharing with you.

Watch this space for my pre-Christmas blog next month.

xx

Life-coaching can be a huge support through life-changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the best and yet the most challenging time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

3 October 2019 – Fireweed

Fireweed

Rose-Bay Willow Herb is known by numerous different names.  One of these is “Fireweed” and October is the month when you will see why (see image).  The leaves on the remaining stalks are turning red, gold and back, and the when the autumn sunlight catches the colours it looks as if they are on fire.  This is the final stage of this lovely plant’s annual life-cycle, but she’ll be back next summer to take us through to autumn again.

Meanwhile, the process for our house-move continues to plod slowly through its paces.  We have found a wee gem of a house in Brechin (10 miles from Lunan Bay and 8 miles from the Montrose Basin, with Passion Flowers growing in the garden!) and are waiting, impatiently, for all the paperwork to be finalised.

I hardly dare tempt fate by saying everything is on course for our move on 30th October, but (touch wood) it seems that way at the moment.

I am experiencing mixed emotions about this move.  We’ve been happy in the central belt of Scotland and I’ll be sorry to move away from everything and everyone we’ve come to know and love, but there’s excitement in starting afresh in a new location.  I can’t wait to find new friends and explore all the walks and cycle routes to new beaches, hills and glens.  And we’re only moving 100 miles, not to another planet!

Change of any kind, voluntary or not, can be daunting because change brings an element of uncertainty into our lives.  What strengths, weaknesses, threats and opportunities will reveal themselves?  How will I deal with it?

In the face of challenges I often find myself humming the old favourite “Accentunate the Positive”.  I won’t torture you by attaching an audio file of my own rendition.  Instead, here’s a link to the wonderful Ella Fitzgerald swinging into positive mode.  Much better.  Enjoy!  Click here

What tools and techniques do you use (either consciously or automatically) to manage in your life?

Hopefully my November Blog article will be from our new home in Brechin.  Fingers-crossed.

I’ll keep you updated, so watch this space.

Life-coaching can be a huge support through life-changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the best and yet the most challenging time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

2 September 2019 – Happy/Sad Dance Time

Blog Pic Happy Sad Dance

You may be noticing that last month’s “Purple Patches of Perfection” are rapidly turning white/pale -pink as the beautiful Rose-Bay Willow-Herb prepares to shed its feather-like seeds to ensure the perpetuation of plenty of purple patches of perfection next year.  (Can you hear Elton John singing “The Circle of Life” from the Lion King in the background?)

My good news from August is that our house is now under offer.  Yay!  A cause for celebration for both ourselves and the lovely couple who seemed to fall instantly in love with it.  However, I have found myself feeling deeply sad at the prospect of leaving our long-time nest.  This is the down-side of selling before you buy and therefore not being able to clearly imagine the good times we are moving towards.

To avert the sadness, I am keeping busy, searching for our next nest.  Our diary for the next few weeks looks like an American tourist’s holiday itinerary for north east Scotland, e.g “It’s Tuesday, so it must be St Cyrus.  😊”

I know that once we’ve found somewhere that ticks all our boxes, our spirits will rise again as we imagine ourselves in our new home.

Having listened to BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour last Friday, on the difficulties of renting at 50, and beyond, when life hasn’t quite gone to plan, I have a new appreciation for how lucky we are to be able to consider buying again.  If you missed the program you can still catch it on the iPlayer Radio app.  (The renting related part starts at about 16 mins into the program.

My goal for September is obvious:  stay positive, find a new house and finalise a move out/in date.  Sounds simple and hopefully it will be.

Whatever emotional rollercoaster you are travelling on this month, I hope you can embrace the thrill of it all and sow seeds for good memories to cherish in the future.

Life-coaching can be a huge support through life-changes.  My focus is on mid and later life changes, as this can be the best and yet the most challenging time of our lives.  Contact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

1 August 2019 – Purple Patches of Perfection

Patches of Purple Perfection

It’s August already and I realise that I haven’t blogged since May.  This year is flying in.

I have been inspired to blog today after a lovely morning bicycle ride, surrounded by huge banks of gorgeous Rose-Bay Willow-Herb.  Seeing her return each summer is like saying “hello” to an old friend.  Her long, slender stems dance in the breeze and add vibrant, purple patches against the lush shades of green in the verges.

When life is full of change it’s reassuring to see the steady, recurring rhythms of nature.

This summer it has become clear that Stuart (hubby) and I had been holding on to out-dated thinking and perspectives, while our lives have moved on.  Instead of embracing and adapting to new situations we had been resolutely ignoring the impact of occurrences in recent years and we were continuing doing what had worked for us before.

After realisation dawned, we at last took stock and it’s been a freeing and liberating process.

The end result is our decision to make a complete fresh start.  There’s no need for us to stay in the central belt of Scotland for work commitments now that Stuart has retired.  I can work from any location.  We’re selling up and heading North to live by the sea, which always has been our long-term goal.

After enjoying over 19 years in our quiet, leafy cul-de-sac, we will be sad to say goodbye to our lovely, comfortable home and perfect neighbours.  As so often before, this quote for Anais Nin resonates strongly for me.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Life outside our old, familiar comfort-zone beckons.  It’s going to be nerve-wracking and exciting, but there’s no growth if we let ourselves become too set in our ways.  Wherever we move to there is sure to be my old friend the Rose-Bay Willow-Herb nearby.

No doubt I’ll be sharing the journey in my blog over the forthcoming months, as I strive to maintain calm with a hubby and two cats, none of whom like disruptions of any sort.

I think this project is an omelette and eggs will be broken, but the result will be delicious.  😊

26 May 2019 – Who do you work for?

Blog Change

Followers of 3RO will have noticed that I am blogging less frequently this year.  I made a difficult decision last year, to focus my energies in another direction.  I put 3RO on the back-burner for a while and I have been re-directing life-coaching enquiries to trusted colleagues.

To my surprise, I have had an enjoyable year and so I am going to continue to focus on my government-related contract work for the time-being.

When I originally escaped from corporate employment in 2013, I was thrilled and very proud to at last be my own boss.  The last six years has taught me that, regardless of employment status with HMRC or the source of my income, I am always working for myself.

My previous reference to escaping the corporate world was a reflection of my own negative perspective at that time.  Since then I have worked longer hours and far harder than ever as the director of 3RO Ltd, but these self-motivated activities have never felt like a chore because they are my choice.  Setting up my own company empowered me, broadened my knowledge and enabled me to meet many fascinating people.

For the present, I am enjoying being committed to a contract again, because it is one that enables me to continue to deliver excellent customer service to people who benefit from that service.  I am continuing to use and hone my life-coaching muscles, as well as learning new skills and making new connections.  Every day brings fresh opportunities to rise to new challenges.

Even in a corporate situation, we can influence our environment for our own satisfaction and happiness, and then share the results with colleagues.   Ensuring we benefit holistically (not just financially) from work, enables us to better serve our business and community, and be good company for the people who share our lives.

We can be exquisitely flexible and we can make a change whenever we wish.

So, who do you work for?  🙂

29 March 2019 – Your giant, powerful magnet

Blog Giant magnate goals

Social media and the news media in general often give me a sense of overload.   So much depressing news.  So many interesting articles, books, videos and pod-casts.  I struggle to find the time to read everything that takes my interest.

I have consciously been posting fewer blogs this year.  Partly because I’ve a lot going on, but also because I don’t believe in posting simply to raise my profile.  As I get older, I am increasingly more comfortable resisting doing the “things I should do”.  I focus on what makes me happy.

Many of my friends haven’t made it to 2019 and I am therefore keenly aware that every day brings new possibilities and it’s up to me to make the best choice of what to do with my limited time on this planet.

I know what feeds my energy and makes me content.  I make sure that, whatever commitments I have to others, meeting my own needs is also a priority.  By looking after myself I am better able to contribute and help others.

Self-care takes dedication, planning, perseverance and resilience.  Don’t let anyone tell you it’s selfishness.  It’s about survival.  It’s necessary.

By choosing what we focus on for our long-term aspirations, we give ourselves purpose and direction in moving towards a goal.  An inspirational goal will almost pull you towards it, like a giant, powerful magnet.  It could be financially or life-style oriented, or both, but make sure you frame it positively and can monitor your progress.

When you are driving a car, you check the horizon, look at what’s right in front of the vehicle, and check what’s in between.  You need to do exactly the same when you are setting and monitoring goals.  Don’t miss out on immediate or mid-range opportunities by staring into the future,

Divide BHAGs (“Big Hairy-Arsed Goals”) into smaller, achievable steps, and after you’ve achieved a few of those smaller goals (notice I’m resisting the temptation to calls these SHAGs) you will realise that you are already well on your way to where you’d always dreamed you might be.

Thank you for choosing to spend some of your time today reading this short article.  I hope it’s started you thinking about what your own giant powerful magnet of a goal looks like.

Enjoy the journey, it’s just as important as your destination.