Welcome to my Blog-Spot

I post a new blog article whenever I have a message that I wish to share.   I also post my blogs on LinkedIn if you wish to view them there, click here.

1 December 2020 – 3RO Christmas Video

The fun thing about working for myself is that I get to do everything – including the fun stuff, like creating the Christmas video.

Enjoy!

Check out my online courses, or contact me for help with mid-life changes or retirement planning.

Pathway to a Happy Retirement

A comprehensive online course, addressing the emotional and psychological challenges that retirement brings.  8 modules released over 6 weeks will help you to create the meaningful and enjoyable retirement you deserve.  Includes membership of an exclusive Facebook book, online Retirement Cafes and support from me every step of the way.  On completion of the course you can book an hour of one-to-one coaching with me to help you to clarify your next steps.

Finding Your Direction During Lockdown

A simple yet powerful online course comprising of 6 modules that you can complete at your own pace.  Just what you need to help you, and the people you love, stay positive and effective during this challenging lockdown period.

One-to-one Coaching

I always offer a FREE 45-minutes “Exploration Call”, so you can discover how coaching might help you.  Contact me to book your appointment.

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  I help can assist you with mid-life career changes and making your retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

26 October 2020 – Do you need a mid-life can-opener?
3RO Can opener

Recently I created an online course called “Pathway to a Happy Retirement”.

Its aim is to help anyone who is struggling with the emotional and psychological transition from employment to freedom, because many people do.  After years of working for other people, what are you going to do with all that time (maybe 30-40 years) ahead?

It’s a fabulous course, packed full of tools and resources to help anyone create the retirement they want and deserve.

The only thing I’m unsure about is the title.

I’m fully aware that, in the 21st century, retirement is an outdated concept.  I went with the current title because it does what it says on the tin.  But Amazon don’t sell tall, athletic huntresses and they seem to be doing ok.  Does the name need to reflect the intent?

I didn’t retire.  I found my ikigai.  “Ikigai” is a Japanese concept which roughly translates to “what gives life value for you”.  (There is more on ikigai in my course.)

Today I’m wondering, should I perhaps rename my course “Euphrates” (i.e. another river) or “The Mid-life Can-Opener” (because that’s what it felt l had found when I finally escaped from corporate life).  Colleagues and clients have fed-back to me that they think the existing title is fine, but I’m not completely convinced.

What are your thoughts?

And if you would like to take a look, Module 1 of my course, is free for anyone to browse, at:  https://3roltd.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1035343

You can click here to browse my website and contact me with any questions.

You can also contact me to book a FREE, one-to one, 45-minute Exploration Call, without any obligation.

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  I help can assist you with mid-life career changes and making retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

18 October 2020 – Danger of Death
3RO Blog Dabger of Death

People tend to resist thinking fully about their retirement.

I believe it’s because, for many people, retirement is like a motorway signpost pointing to an exit. “This is your retirement, take the north (or south) exit in three miles to arrive at your Death.” And that scares people.

Our brain is programmed to keep us alive, and we are taught from an early age that death is to be avoided.  Our continuing survival is not only our personal focus not only, but of also of all our media, especially the huge horror and action movie industries.

But one of the best things about being human is that we die.

Just think what a pest you would become if you didn’t die. What would the world look like, full of old-crumblies like Genghis Khan, Sir Isaac Newton, Queen Victoria, et al, all still rootling around after centuries, getting older and older? Anti-wrinkle-cream would be more precious that gold.

Because nature abhors a vacuum, the space you occupy currently on this planet will be filled, once you’re gone, by a newer version of a human being, hopefully one wiser and kinder to the planet.

So, stop kidding yourself, and start planning to have the fabulous retirement you want and deserve, before you go, because “Preparation Prevents Post-Retirement Perplexity”. 😊

Join my “Pathway to a Happy Retirement” online course. Module 1 is free for you to discover just how essential this course is for you. It isn’t financial planning. This course is about handling the emotional and psychological challenges that retirement brings, to enable you to take control and make these years the best years of your life.

Doesn’t that sound like something you want to do?

You can click here to either browse my website and contact me with any questions.

You can also contact me to book a FREE, one-to one, 45-minute Exploration Call, without any obligation.

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  I help can assist you with mid-life career changes and making retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

6 October 2020 – The Retirement Curve
3RO Retirement Curve

You may recognise this curve.  It’s the same Change Curve that the psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler Ross (1926-2004) used to explain the emotional journey through the grief of the loss of a loved one (expanded to seven stages from her original five).

Retirement is one of the biggest changes in your life and it can take you on a similar emotional journey.  After years of working for other people, suddenly you’ve lost a huge part of your life and identity.  It’s natural to grieve for what you’ve lost.  Recovery comes as you discover the new landscape of your life and the new you.

Let’s look at each of the stages of The Retirement Curve in more detail.

Stage 1 – Shock

Initially there’s the “shock” of the new.  If it’s an enforced retirement, that might mean you are dealing with a lot of negative feelings, but even if you’ve chosen to retire, there the “shock” of how different your life is now.  Humans are creatures of habit and your old work-related routines are no longer there (for good, or for bad).  Externally you may appear happy and enthusiastic about your new found freedom, but it will be transitory unless you have created a structure and purpose for your new life.

Stage 2 – Denial

This can take many forms, depending on your own particular circumstances.    Perhaps you deny that you miss your colleagues, or the routine, or the status your role gave you.  Perhaps you deny that you ever wanted to work in that industry at all.  You tell me, if you recognise this part of the journey.

Stage 3 – Anger and Blame

This stage is usually prompted by the emerging insecurity felt from being cut loose from all those familiar routines and habits, and feelings of loss of identity.  “They never appreciated all the work I put in.”  “Things will be missed and errors made now I’m not there.”  “What were all those long hours and stressful days for?”  “If only they….”

Stage 4 – Bargaining

Now, instead of blaming “them” you turn the magnifying glass on yourself and start thinking of what you could/should/would have done.  The bargaining is to try to recover some of the respect and status from your colleagues that you stripped away from yourself earlier.  “They weren’t so bad.”  “If only I had…… “  You can beat yourself up for hours, weeks, months and possibly years if you don’t navigate your way through this stage swiftly.

Stage 5 – Depression and Confusion

You’ve arrived at rock bottom.   If you’re wise you won’t stay here long, but some people do.  “Why am I on the scrap heap?”  “What’ the point of life now?”  “Who am I?” “I’m useless now.”  “It’s 8am.  What’s on the TV.”

Stage 6 – Acceptance

This wonderful stage is your re-awakening.  This is re-discovering who you are after the emotional journey you have gone through.  This about realising that you have a vast amount of assets, resources, knowledge and skills that you can utilise to do anything you want.  “If it is possible for anyone, it is possible for you, if only you can discover how.”

Stage 7 – Problem Solving

The new you is here, with renewed energy and motivation.  A new chapter of your life has begun.  You are not who you were.  Like a butterfly, you have emerged with wings to take you wherever you wish to go.

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The time-scale of The Retirement Curve is elastic.  It might be a few hours for one individual, or several years for someone less prepared for the changes that retirement can bring.

Stage 7 brings its own set of questions.  What do you want to do?  Where do you want to do it?  Who with?  How will you achieve it?

Most of us will have known, or heard of, people who declined rapidly after retiring from a busy work-life.  For those of you who like statistics:

A study published in the Journal of Population Ageing found that those who were retired were about twice as likely to report feeling symptoms of depression than those who were still working. And, research from the London-based Institute of Economic Affairs found that the likelihood that someone will suffer from clinical depression actually goes up by about 40% after retiring.

The result is that roughly 25 percent of adults aged 65 or older have some type of mental health issue, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More alarmingly, suicide rates for men are highest among those age 75 and older, according to other data from the Centers.

Stage 7 of The Retirement Curve is not the end.  It’s a beginning that brings its own set of questions.  What do you want to do?  Where do you want to do it?  Who with?  How will you achieve it?

Wherever you are on the Retirement Curve, or if you haven’t even started yet, I can help you to clarify what you want from retirement and then take ensure you take positive action to create the enjoyable and meaningful retirement you deserve.

Does that sound like something you want to do?

If so, contact me to book a FREE, one-to one, 45-minute Exploration Call, without any obligation.

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  I help can assist you with mid-life career changes and making retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

23 September 2020 – Life Lessons from 100-Year-Olds

A brief blog from me today, as I want to share a wonderful video that I came across recently, called “Life Lessons from 100-Year-Olds”.

It’s less than 15 minutes in length.

Each of the delightful participants are over 100 years of age, and very eloquent about where they are in life as they reflect on their journey, so far.

What struck me is that they each show such a great sense of humour, and gratitude for lessons learned by their experiences, as well as a positive attitude to life.

Imagine that, in the future you are asked to participate in a video like this, what would you want to share about your journey?

Enjoy!

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  I help can assist you with mid-life career changes and making retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

3 September 2020 – 10 things about your RETIREMENT

At noon on 10th September I am going to be announcing a special offer for members of my Retirement UK Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RetirementUK/

If you are approaching retirement, recently retired, or struggling to know what to do with yourself in retirement, come and join us.

In the meantime, here’s a, not unrelated, brief video.  😊

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  My main focus is on mid-life career changes and making your retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

26 August 2020 – Body type found!

3RO Shar Pei

Over the past four years, my weight had crept up gradually and, like most people, it only increased further once lockdown started. 

I have tried various diets over the decades, and I always struggled with knowing whether my “body-type” was endomorph, ectomorph, or mesomorph.

Eventually, I know my body-type was genetically inherited from my Mum. No matter what size or weight I am, like her, I always have a band of “relaxed” flesh around my middle. I like to think that it’s part of the reason our genes have survived. 

We always have a good handle available for firefighters to grab and thereby take us to safety.   

I have identified our body-type as “Shar-Pei” as that seems to be the image that best represents us, but the label is irrelevant. 

As a life-coach, I now know that the only way to make any change is by:

  1. Setting a clear and firm intention;
  2. Replacing bad habits with consistently positive actions, moving towards my goal;
  3. Celebrating each small step along the way.

In mid-May, inspired by Michael Mosley’s book “The 8-week Blood Sugar Diet”, I decided it was time for me to make a change. 

The first few days, while I was initially changing those old, comfortable habits, were by far the hardest. I traded Mr Kipling cakes and Dr Oetker pizzas for fresh, homemade, whole-foods and calorie counting.

I have never felt hungry, as I filled-up with fruit, veggies and rice cakes.

I have now lost over 2 stones (30 pounds) in weight and I feel great, with my smaller shar-pei handles.

I’m not telling you this to sell you a weight loss plan, or because I feel smug (although I do feel smug because I feel fit, and comfortable in my clothes).  

The message I want to communicate is, when you are ready to make a change, you will find your way to do it.

In the years when I carried that excess weight, there were lots of times when I could have made this change. There were times when I saw friends shed weight and look fantastic, yet it didn’t trigger me to do the same. I wasn’t ready.

Only you will know when you are ready to make any change. It might be eating, smoking, relationship, career or retirement related.  

Until you are ready, don’t beat yourself up about it. 

Enjoy every day of your life on this planet, regardless of where you are on your journey.

x

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  My main focus is on mid-life career changes and making your retirement the best time of your lifeContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

17 August 2020 – Interviewed!

I was interviewed last Friday afternoon, by Cat Cripps of the Business Success Society.

Here’s the link to the interview, with me talking to Cat about my business and retirement coaching (and lots of other stuff too).

Lots of laughter as this was a lot of fun.

Contact me if you would like help with a mid-life career change, or with planning how to make your retirement the best time of your life.

I offer a FREE 45-minute “Exploration Call”, so we can discuss what you are looking for and how we can work together.

Life-coaching Large signature

4 August 2020 – Blooming Busy!

3RO August update

I can’t quite believe that it’s almost a month since my last blog post.  In some ways this year has seemed to pass so slowly, and in other ways so fast.

We had our first post-lockdown visitors last week.  Wonderfully surreal not to be able to hug them, but lovely to walk & talk, and then sit and share a meal, and talk some more.

I’ve had a hugely busy month since I decided to build an online course to help people to live their best life in retirement.  It’s a steep learning curve but I’m loving the journey and I feel slightly amazed at what I am creating.  Watch this space!

I’ve been invited by the inspiring Cat Cripps, of the Business Success Society, to have an online chat with her on 14th August in the Facebook group.  That should be fun.  I’m really enjoying being part of Cat’s group.   She creates a great energy and has attracted lots of lovely, interesting, small business people with whom to share ideas.

The two Facebook groups that I run are ticking along nicely:  Retirement UK and Fabulous Blooming Women.  Join us if you feel inclined, and if you meet the criteria.

So, this is a brief blog, just to say “Hi, I’m still here.  Remember, you don’t have to deal with mid-life career changes or retirement planning alone.  I can help.”

You can always check out my services and contact me through my website.

We have been loving our new garden which is so vibrantly colourful at the moment with sweet-peas, nasturtiums, sun-flowers, pansies, fuchsias and the massive wall of passion-flowers that we first saw when we viewed the house last September.  Awesome!   Here are just a few pics.

I hope you are making the best of your summer too.

xx

Life-coaching provides support as you are making or managing changes.  My main focus is on mid and later life career changes and planning for retirementContact me if you wish to discuss how I can assist you.

12 July 2020 – Interview with a Fabulous Blooming Author

Sarah - Swimming Down Dementia

Last week I was honoured to interview Sarah Kennedy Norquoy from Orkney for my Fabulous Blooming Women Facebook group.  Sarah recently published her first book, about her 2019, when she discovered her passion for sea-swimming and her Mum was diagnosed with dementia.

I have followed Sarah’s blogs for several years now and I knew her book would be worth reading.  I laughed.  I cried.  I related to so much of what she shared about her year.

For me, cycling gives me what sea-swimming gives Sarah; a sense of freedom and being closer to nature.  My late Mum also suffered from dementia.

Sarah’s book highlights how important it is for our own well-being to find a passion that energises and renews us, so we can deal with all the other stuff going on in our lives.

Sarah’s book is available from Amazon at  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Salt-Skin-Sarah-Kennedy-Norquoy/dp/1916267130/.

I’ve edited our 30-minute interview down to 13 minutes (more Sarah, less me) so, grab a coffee, get yourself comfortable and let this fabulous lady tell you about her book in her own words.